My relationship with God is not built on doing, but on being. Not doing for God, but being with God. I always considered being closer to God was somehow related to how much work I did for God. My desire has always been to be closer to God. I have wrongly thought that by doing more for God, I was showing Him how much I loved Him. In reality, all this work distracted me and kept me away from God. I have become too busy doing God’s work to spend time having a relationship with Him.
Married couples do much the same thing. A husband may think that to get closer to his wife, he has to make her happy by working harder and longer at this job or on projects around the house. Often this work gets in the way of relationships. A wife often gets tired and lonely waiting for her husband to finish working at the office or around the house. Work is secondary to the relationship. Our work should come out of the overflow of our relationships to our spouse, to our kids, our family and friends.
When we get to the end of our lives, we won’t be remembered for working 60 or 80 hours a week. We won’t be remembered for having the best-looking yard. We won’t be remembered for cooking a meal, washing the clothes, changing the oil or getting to the PTA meeting on time. We’ll be remembered for our relationships.

“Good things come to those who wait…. No, they don’t. Good things come to those who work hard.” This quote was heard on a recent car commercial and can be applied to many Christians today.
Too often we believe that because we love God and call Him Lord, God will give us everything we want. Our lives should always be good. Nowhere in Scripture does God promise that every situation or relationship will be easy or happy for those who believe in Him. The Bible is filled with accounts of men and women who knew God personally, yet struggled with their health, their money or relationships. God doesn’t promise to give us everything we want, but He does promise to give us everything we need. Often what we need most is the patience and ability to get through difficult times.
I often see clients in my practice who are downcast and depressed because they feel they are not getting what they want from God. Sitting around doing nothing, waiting on God to give them a perfect life goes against God’s desire for us to get up and do something—to be involved in our relationship with Him.
Each of us as Christ followers needs to be actively living out our faith and using the gifts, talents and knowledge God has given us to improve life for ourselves and others, and to move forward with purpose. By working with the purpose of loving God, we can rise above our depression, change our outlook and move out of the rut we may have fallen into.
God tells us what we are to do. Are we willing to break away from selfish pursuits and begin doing something to alter our circumstances if we don’t like them, or don’t think they please God? We are all responsible to do something. We have to be about doing what we know is right in God’s sight.
I’m reminded of the story of the man who was trapped on the roof of his house as the flood waters rose. A truck, a boat, and a helicopter all came to rescue him, but he sent them away with the words, “I’ll be okay. God will save me.” Eventually, the man drowned and when he got to heaven, complained to God, “Why didn’t you save me, God?”
God replied, “What are you talking about? I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter, but you never got in!”
Don’t sit back and wait for things to change on their own. Get up and do something with Him.

As a Christian counselor, I see hurting people every day. All are looking for a way to deal with the emotional hurt they are feeling. Some make it out of the emotional turmoil. Some don’t. For real change to take place in a person’s life, it takes more than a desire. It takes action.
One action stands above all the rest when it comes to healing emotional hurts. That action is forgiveness. The need to forgive comes about when someone intentionally or unintentionally harms us in some way.
Often when we hurt, we become angry. We get angry at the person who hurt us. We get angry at ourselves over how we handled the situation. We may even get angry at God for allowing the hurt to happen.
Often we are tempted to seek revenge. Anger, when not controlled, can be harmful to our bodies, causing physical illness, clinical depression and even death.
The Bible contains sound psychology on how to deal with anger. The Apostle Paul refers to Psalm 4:4 when he told the Ephesians, “Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”
We often have the right to be angry. Feeling angry is not a sin. It is our attitudes and the ways we handle our anger that can become sinful. The longer we hold on to anger, the harder it is for us to get rid of it, and there is more opportunity to sin through our actions.
Forgiveness is the key to letting go of anger. Forgiveness allows reconciliation to begin on both sides of the disagreement. More importantly, forgiveness allows reconciliation between us and God.
Does the person who hurt us deserve forgiveness? No, they don’t deserve our forgiveness, but we deserve to give it to them anyway. It’s the only way to be fair to ourselves. Forgiveness is as much for us as it is for the other person.
Forgiveness doesn’t happen all at once. We have to work at it. Once we’ve worked through our anger, we may be ready to give it up, forgive the person, and get on with our lives.
If you have a need to work through anger and forgiveness, Ken Johnson is available to counsel with you. Feel free to call 770-419-5657 to set up an appointment. We offer sessions in the office or over the telephone.

Right after my first child was born, I remember sitting among a group of parents with children of all ages.  One mother was talking about her teenage son wrecking the family’s new car. The couple was out of town for the weekend and her 18-year old son totaled their new Honda.  He was not hurt, just badly shaken.  He worried more about what his parents would say when they found out.

As the group waited to hear how the mother would respond, she made a profound statement, “children need the most love when they are the least lovable.”  This mother knew what unconditional love was all about.  It means loving someone in spite of what their behavior might be or what mistake they might make.  Children are shaped and nurtured through the actions, experiences and beliefs formed through the parent relationship.

Parents have the responsibility to teach a child how to live in the world around them. These lessons are learned as much from what a parent does not do as from what a parent does. Parents show unconditional love by accepting a child’s right to have an opinion.  Children can offer up ideas, suggestions and complaints. Parents must ultimately make the final decision, but listening to the child develops self-esteem and encourages creative expression.

Parents show unconditional love by overlooking a child’s mistakes and encouraging the child to try again.  Encouraging the right behavior develops the child’s desire to do the right thing.

Parents show unconditional love through the use of forgiveness.  By forgiving the child when he does something wrong, the parent tells the child he is loved regardless of the bad behavior he exhibits at times.  Bad behavior does not mean the child is bad.

Parents show unconditional love by spending time with the child.  Letting the child know he or she is important develops individuality and independence.  It is easy to love children when they are behaving well. It is difficult to love children when they are behaving badly.  In the end, feeling loved will do more to develop strong character than simply obeying the demands a parent may place on a child.